Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
