They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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