and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
