Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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