I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
