The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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