so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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