just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
