Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
