How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
