Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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