Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
