no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
