I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
