I'm really into asian looking animals
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
