remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
