This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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