just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
