it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
