Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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