you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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