and you said cock pushups were impossible
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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