she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
