i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
