I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
