it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
