hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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