i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
