I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
