why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
