Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
