Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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