I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Everclear isn't food dammit
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
