How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
