dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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