He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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