loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
