Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
