Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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