for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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