everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
