There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
