that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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