I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think my tv is drunk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
