Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
