is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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