Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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