1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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