They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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