So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
